


This Family is Fine

by Jamesneatojourney



Category: Being The Elite (Web Series), Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kayfabe Compliant, Nightmares, Supernatural Elements, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-17 09:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15458610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamesneatojourney/pseuds/Jamesneatojourney
Summary: The Bullet club just needs to get out of the Cow Palace. They can figure it out from there.They all have questions, they all hurt, and nobody knows where their future lies. With G1 just around the corner, Kota has an idea for a way for them to stay safe while on tour.Theres things that need to be said. Things that need atonement. And a family that needs to heal.(This is a multi chapter fic ive been chipping away at. I'm excited for how it'll progress. Please feel free to tell me what you think as I go!)





	1. On Watch

“Something bads gonna happen.”

The vacant yet vaguely scared voice of his younger brother replayed through Matt's mind as he limped through the locker room. Nick had remained quiet since they got back, silently packing his things and periodically rubbing his burning eyes. They had to move quickly.

As the entire bullet club, or whatever they were now, packed their things, Chase and an uncharacteristically quiet Yujiro kept watch in the hallway.

Neither Yujiro nor Chase knew this was in the works. Chase tried to still the clenching of his throat as he tried to make sense of what happened. These months, years, of supporting Tama, Leo, and Fale (Christ, is Fale in on it too? He wasnt even there, but his loyalties were always with Tama.) Was that time worthless? Maybe Haku had some role in it. Or, or maybe the issues between Cody and Kenny? Chase had tried to remain neutral, but with Kota alone on the tour, Chase had to intervene. At the end of the day, Chase is a helper, whether it bites him in the ass or not isnt up to him.

While Chase was doing all he could to maintain a semblance of composure, Yujiro was not faring so well. Bullet club is all he has. The tongans? They were in Japan more than anyone. The bucks and Kenny travel, Chase isnt always booked, Page is still so new, and Cody is everywhere and doing his weird politics and ALL IN thing. But the Tongans were a staple. They were Yujiros drinking buddies, They were his roommates on trips, but more than that, they were family to him. And now, poof, gone. Just like that. Without so much as an explanation. Yujiro had his arms folded tightly in front of him, knuckles digging roughly into his forearms. He was leaning against the locker room door and staring down the hallway stiffly. Chase felt the innate desire to try and make him feel better, to comfort, but he didnt know what to say. Chase still struggles with his Japanese, and Yujiros English is rough when hes in a GOOD mood. Besides, Yujiro wasnt exactly one for emotional real talk. The man slugged Chase in the stomach and called him a douchebag once for holding a door for him. But still...hes clearly hurting, and Chase is sure Yujiro is just gonna let it fester as opposed to try and talk it through. He will likely not be the only one of them to let tonight stew. 

Chase had nothing he could say, so he didn't.

He reached out and, only clearing his throat as a forewarning, set a hand down on Yujiros shoulder. The smaller man visibly tensed and, after glancing quickly at Chases hand, looked away. His shoulders seemed to curl into himself slightly as he looked from down the hall, to the floor. Chase barely picked up the slight tremble in Yujiros shoulders, seemingly creeping out from his chest.

After a long and heavy silence, as though he had been holding his breath, Yujiro let out a long and shaky exhale. He was apprehensive, but still slowly crept his vision up towards Chase, though still not meeting his eye. He sniffled. His eyes were watery, and his face was contorted in an embarrassed grimace. Chase felt that tightness in his chest twist roughly as Yujiro gasped in an inhale, trying (and failing) to force himself to look ar Chase with a vacant aloof gaze. A gaze that showed he didnt care, when he currently did, painfully so. Chase gave Yujiro a sad smile, and nodded slightly, hoping he understood that Chase was trying to do the same thing. 

Before Chase could think better of it, he slowly raised his arms, offering himself up for a hug. After a moment, Chases intentions finally clicked, and Yujiros face hardened. His eyes still wet, he looked away blinking harshly. Chase chastised himself inwardly.

‘This may have been a shitty idea’

Chase waited for any of the possible consequences. For Yujiro to yell at him, or ignore him, or shove him, or call him a Fucker or just straight up leave. But instead, Chase faced the scenario that he hadnt even considered,

Yujiro started to cry. And not just cry, he wept. He wept bitterly and deeply. The kind of cry you deny for too long and let build until it finally bursts through. Where you are left boneless in white hot, tear blinded agony. 

For a moment, Chase panicked, terrified that he had broken the man. Yujiro uncinched the deathgrip he had on his forearms and brought his hands up to cover his face, turning towards Chase and leaning on his shoulder harder against the door. 

Chase stood there in the doorway, watching him awkwardly. He hovered his had, then brought them back. He opened his mouth and took in a breath to say something, but fell silent a moment later and let that breath out in a crestfallen sigh. Chase was looking down, shifting his weight side to side nervously, when he saw Yujiros wrestling shoes creep into view. He looked up just in time for Yujiro to shuffle forward and slump his still tightly coiled form against Chases chest.

“Shit! Uh, ok. Alright” Chase said quietly, quickly steadying himself as Yujiro leaned his entire (not very heavy) body weight against him. Chase tucked Yujiros head beneath his chin and listened to his ragged, uneven breathing for a moment, hoping to prolong this moment of healing as long as he could. Chase knew they couldn't do this here. Not now. Tama and the rest of them could be anywhere, and they had to get their shit and get out before everything goes very wrong very quickly. Chase heaved out a sad sigh, rubbing small circles into Yujiros trembling back.

“I know, man...me too. I'm so fucking sorry.”

Chase had seen Yujiro after bad losses, bar fights, rough breakups, he'd even seen him during those blackout drunk nights after it all, singing sad songs at late night karaoke bars. But even then, he had never seen him like this. This...wasn't him sad or angry. This was grieving. This was loss, it was mourning, it was confused misery with no foreseeable closure.

And Chase didn't know what to do. 

He was so exhausted, just keeping himself put together was too much. But he needed to. More importantly, they both needed to be aware and alert of what was happening. Chase took a breath and steeled himself, putting on the toughest face he could. He had to be stern, don't fold, don't be soft right now. That's not what either of them need.

‘we'll do this later. Right now we focus.’ Thats what ill say. Ok. Dont shut him down, just redirect and delay. Deep breath, Here we go.

Chases plan fell apart before it even started

He shut his eyes and took hold of Yujiros shoulders, easing him away. Yujiro leaned back, confused. When Chase opened them, Yujiro was looking up at him. He was wide eyed, puffy eyes wet and nose still dripping pitifully. 

As Yujiro stared though, there was a sudden shift in his expression; as though he had just made some horrible realization. His shoulders started to curl and he stepped one leg back. And through a shallow breath, Yujiro broke the silence with a quiet, terrified whisper, damn near a plea,

“Chase?”

It was by far the worst possible indicator that Chase was putting on his serious face on a bit too convincingly. Yujiro looked ready to bolt, staring up at Chase like a deer in headlights, terrified as to what Chase was about to do. Chase hadn't considered how delicate he was right now. His sense of trust had been shattered tonight, and, as much as it pains him to consider, Chase realizes Yujiro could now expect any one of bullet club to turn on him at any given time. No longer if, now just when.

This was not the reaction he had hoped for. Chase wanted to reassure him, to lighten the moment, not scare him worse. He thought of what he could say, but settled on a smile and a quick affectionate squeeze of Yujiro’s shoulder. 

Unfortunately, Chase had forgotten where on Yujiro the firing squad had targeted.

As soon as Chase squeezed down, Yujiro winced away and inhaled sharply, scrambling back with fresh, terrified tears in his eyes. He backed up until he hit the adjacent wall by the locker room door, one hand splayed against it, eyes darting around him desperately. As though he was looking for anything he could use to hide. His other hand cradled the crook of his neck defensively, the previously hidden bruises now creeping into view from the neckline of his shirt. He looked like he wanted to scream, to run, but was frozen in place, save for the tremor in his hands.

Chase’s facade shattered, face contorting in guilt and panic, hands raised defensively as he started to rattle off quick apologies to the smaller man.

“Shit! Sorry! No, wait Yujiro, I'm sorry, I didnt mean to-- I was trying--, fuck. uh. Uhh” 

Chase floundered, trying to think of something quick. Something easy to say that he knew Yujiro would understand, something that would translate, panicked or not. Meanwhile, the smaller man was flattening himself against the wall, chest heaving, like a cornered animal.

“Uhhh, fuckin--oh! Alright. Ok. Yujiro,” Chase waited, intent on waiting until he caught the mans leery gaze. He tried to look as approachable and docile as possible, holding a hands up apologetically.

“Yujiro...I fucked up.”

Yujiro paused, his breathing slowly evening out. The tension in his shoulders slowly loosened, if only barely. But Yujiro was still tense, frowning and looking at him skeptically while still rubbing his neck. A long moment passed before he looked away and Chase finally heard Yujiros usual bitter muttering,

“Bad night to fuck up, you Jack ass.”

Chase sagged in relief. At this point he didn't know if he could've handled Yujiro leaving him too. This situation was already asking for far too much from Chase emotionally, he couldnt handle that on top of everything else.

“We’ll talk more about everything later. Not here though, Yknow? Fuckers could be anywhere. But I'm serious. We WILL talk about this. Because we need to.”

Yujiro made a face, but it fell away almost immediately. He simply nodded. When he glanced back at Chase, Yujiro looked him up and down and smirked, a smug look coming over his tear streaked and puffy face

“You look like shit. We both do.”

Chase busted into a fit tired giggling, sniffling hard and scrubbing a hand over his grimy stubbly face.

“Man I know. I need a fucking shower. Like I love myself and body confidence and all that shit but theres a point yknow?”

Yujiro shrugged and tried to cover up the wince that immediately followed. Anyone else would have missed it, but Chase noticed, he always does. A slight squint of the eyes, a tightness of his smirk, his tells are subtle. They stood silently for a few minutes more, waiting for someone to come take their place.

Chase checks the time, then tips his head into the locker room,

“Hey we still gotta pack too! Can someone swap?”

Chase shook his head and let out a heaving sigh.

Yujiro just looked at him. Chase took it as acknowledgment,

“This has been one piss poor year for bullet club, huh?”

Yujiro smirked, and made an affirmative hum. 

“The BC OG fucks are gonna be the ones having a bad year. Once the tournament starts.”

Chase froze. The G1. Shit, how is that gonna work? They'll be in a hotel with them again, this time for weeks. Its gonna be impossible to sneak past them. Chase felt the already present ball of nerves in him twist roughly. 

“Wait, what are we doing about that? We won't stand a chance all split up, we couldn't take them tonight, how are any of us going to manage ourselves solo?”

Yujiro sniffled, but his face was stony and resolute.

“We won't be solo. Tag matches, singles, we'll do this.”

Chase waited expectantly for the end of the statement, then frowned when he realized it wasn't coming.

“Do ‘this’? What is ‘this’? Panic and run and get hurt?

Yujiro crossed his arms again, seemingly regaining his previously crumbled composure. His red tearstained cheeks betrayed his otherwise hardened demeanour. He spoke again,

“We do this. Keep watch. Keep each other safe. Just like always.”

Chase paused, the sincerity in his voice caught Chase off guard. He was right though. Chase looked down at his feet for a moment, taking in their unsure future in the G1 tour. Finally he nodded, looking up and watching the hall.

“I guess thats all we CAN do.”


	2. 2 vans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Page is struggling and others start to notice.

Page stood in front of his open locker, staring blindly at his gear. He knew they had to move quickly, to get their stuff out before Tama, Loa, and Haku get back. But he just couldn't will himself to stay present. He could dimly hear Cody saying something, Page could only guess he still ranting about loyalty and deception and predictability of coups. But he couldn't grasp a word. The more he tried, the heavier the weight that hung in his heart and mind became. 

What was happening? Everything was crumbling around him. The voices he's been hearing, the distrust and fear in his family, these blackouts, the fits of violence and anger, Joey...and what about the G1 tournament? It starts in a week, and now he has far fewer allies going in than he thought he did. What about Fale? Was he in on it too? 

Page was still standing wide eyed at his locker when a voice poked through the haze. 

“ -lright Hangman? Hello? Page, you ok?”

Cody was trying to talk to him, but Page could only stare at the open duffel that still lay untouched, surrounded by his gear wadded and strewn about the locker. Page felt the twisting panic of his inaction. He wanted to turn to Cody, talk with him, reassure that he was ok. But he couldn't talk, and he isn't ok. Finally, mercifully, Cody burst through Pages dissociative haze and brought him back into himself.

“-eed to see the trainer or something? Adam!”

Pages head whirled around and he blinked madly, looking into the worried eyes of Cody. He had a hand on Pages chest, when did that get there? Cody’s voice softened.

“Come on, we need to go watch the hall so Chase and Yujiro can get their stuff. Do you need help with anything?” 

Cody’s eyes were flicking around the room as he spoke, tense but still sincere. Page took a moment, looked to his locker, then awkwardly started stuffing his loose belongings into his duffel bag. Page was rushing himself, and his bullrope started to slip from the unzipped pocket onto the floor. He tried to grab it, but only fumbled even worse and dropped his bag, upturning most of his belongings loudly onto the concrete.

Everyone in the room flinched and looked towards them in alarm. Everyone's guards were up tonight, and despite Chase and Yujiro watching the hall, none of them felt safe here. Page took a shuddering breath and put his hands on his head, starting to panic while staring at the floor. Everything was so much. His family is crumbling, now Page was too. ‘They're gonna figure it out. You're too weak to keep a family.’ that voice called out; Pages breathing continued to pick up and his brows furrowed into a terrified grimace, what if it was right?

Cody held his hands up in front of him, in an attempt to come across as non threatening as possible; waving Kenny off when he poked his head around the row of lockers, phone pressed to his ear and face full of scattered concern. Cody turned back to Page and spoke quietly.

“It's alright. Let's get this picked up and we can get out of here. How about I switch with Chase and you can help him pack up? Then I can help Yujiro. That sound good? There's no hurry, I didn't mean to rush you. Take your time so you don't forget anything. Everything’s ok.”

Cody still had his hands up, talking as gently as he can while the tension began to ease out of Page little by little. Page looked up from the floor and, after a shaky breath, he nodded his head with the slightest twitch. Slower this time, he stooped down to gently gather up his things.

Cody watched him for a moment before making his way to the hall, ushering over Chase. 

“Ok. So. Go ahead and start packing, I got you covered here. But could you try to, I don't know, give Page something to do to help? The kid hasn't been in a good way ever since the abduction last year, and I think right now, especially after what just went down, he could really use a distraction.”

Chase looked past Cody towards Page with a concerned frown, but nodded and quickly made his way to his locker. Glancing down, he saw Page kneeling on the floor beside his gear bag, his favorite cowboy boots in hand. He was running his thumb over the worn leather of one of toe, staring intently. Chase started rummaging through his locker absently, not really packing anything, before finally turning to him,

“Hey, could you help me with my bag? I keep everything in such a shit show that its a nightmare to pack up.”

Page tore his gaze from his boots to Chase, and hurriedly tucked them away. He stood and awkwardly dusted himself off, as though he was dusting a feeling more than anything else.

“Y-yeah! Sure. Ok.” 

Page looked excited to help, or was it relieved to feel useful? both thoughts made Chases gut churn with pity and protective anger. 

‘This kid needs stability and we sure as shit aren't doing that for him.’

But this wasn't the time for that conversation. 

Chase handed Page his bag and, one at a time, started handing Page his things. Shaker bottle, tape, gear, some inside out black shirt (didn't look like his merch. Huh.) Hair ties, brush, kick pads, extra tights, and lastly, his PUBG wallet. It would've gone quicker had Chase just done it himself, but Page needed this. Already the younger man had a smile on his face and his mood had improved enough to give him shit about the wallet. 

“I didn't even know they made these. What, did you commission it or something?”

Chase brushed off the rib, elated that the younger man was talking at all.

“Whatever dude, the game's sick. Look, once we’re out of here, I’ll set you up a profile and show you.”

Page scoffed, 

“Yeah man, I'll be counting down the hours.”

Page still had a playful smirk, but despite his attempt to sound sarcastic, he still sounded timidly excited for it.

As they made their way to the hall and passed Cody, Page walked by and gave him a firm pat on the back to tag him out of security. Chase followed behind, giving Cody a smile and a quick thumbs up before letting Yujiro know to go get his things. Cody mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ before rushing back to the dressing room.

By the time Cody and Yujiro were done, everyone else was waiting awkwardly in the hall, bags in hand. They were all in their street clothes, save for Page, who was still wearing his wrestling shoes with his jeans. But Cody wasn't going to worry about it. Kenny was on the phone with a tense expression, looking as though he was physically restraining himself from pacing. The bucks were quiet, Matt looked hurt and irritated, Nick looked the same, as well as extremely confused. Marty was absent mindedly fiddling with the material on his umbrella, watching Kenny fidget, still on the phone. 

Once Cody and Yujiro left the locker room, everyone looked up at each other. An awkward, collective energy of ‘Now what?’ Hung in the air. After a heavy moment, Cody spoke up.

“So, whose hotel room is the biggest?”

Nick made an exasperated noise and tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling,

“Can we not compare dicks right now? I wanna get the hell out of here.”

Cody blinked, then quickly shook his head,

“No no no, I mean who has the most room? We're all staying together tonight right?”

Chase looked from Cody to the rest of bullet club while nodding frantically,

“Yes. Yes we are. Wanna know why? Because the guys Yujiro and I shared a room with beat our asses less than an hour ago. Bucks, didn't y'all get a 2 bed suite?”

Matt perked up,

“Yeah! They gave Nick and I a good one. A sofa living room set up going on too. It'll be tight, but we’ll make it work.”

Chase visibly relaxed and shouldered his bag before piping up again, mildly concerned.

“How are we getting there?”

Cody spoke up in his proud ‘I'm glad you asked’ voice,

“Brandi is setting that up now. 2 cars to the hotel, tipped extra for a pit stop at whatever drive thru is closest.”

“Finally. I'm fucking starving.” Yujiro grumbled, earning a hearty laugh from Marty,

“You're fun, why haven't we hung out more?”

Yujiro looked Marty dead in the eyes,

“Because you're an annoying asshole and I don't like you”

There was a pause, followed by the rest of bullet club breaking into giggles and gathering their things. 

Marty's head popped up,

“Wait, Yujiro’s jokes aside, where are the cars meeting us? We have no idea where Tama and the rest of them even are. They could be anywhere, just waiting for us.”

Cody held his hands up with a smirk,

“Thought of that, dont worry. They'll be right out the back door. We open that, pile in, good as gold.”

Kenny turned back towards the group, but was watching the floor. His phone still held tightly to his ear, he had concern etched tightly across his face. Suddenly, he perked up,

“Hello? Are you-- Yes, we’re ok. I’m fine. I can barely hear you. O-....uh-huh. ok. We’ll be at- Yes yes, the bucks room. Be careful. Ok. Be safe...ok...You too.”

Kenny had a sheepish smile as took the phone from his ear. He looked up at the group, who were now all staring at him, and coughed awkwardly, shoving his phone into his pocket,

“I uh, I finally got ahold of Kota. He’s fine. Fale never looked for him. He’ll meet us in the morning. He may....have an idea.”

Marty looked confused, “an idea for what?”

“For how the G1 is going to work. And how we’ll stay safe during the shitshow that will be those few weeks. Obviously the hotel is out of the question. Everyone is going to be in one building, there's no way. Also, we gotta make sure THIS guy here”, Kenny points to Page, who looked back at him in confused alarm,

“Make sure that come time for the tournament, this guy can be ready. Without any worries or distractions so he can whoop every ass there. I mean maybe not mine. Actually, you know what? Fuck that. Yeah! I want him ready and able to kick MY ass when the time comes.”

Kenny looked at Page with a warm smile, Page was reluctant to return it. The compliments were nice, but he felt awkward trying to accept or acknowledge them.

“It's your time to shine, Page. Your first G1? Your, in my opinion, best year to date? This is where you show all these seasoned guys that you aren't just a tag partner. You're not an opening match body, you're not some kid whose been thrown a bone. You are a threat and-- I'm sorry. I'm babbling, I know. I just don't want you psyching yourself out or….I don't know, panicking over anything, yknow?”

Page nodded, trying with everything in him to accept what Kenny is telling him. But it felt so hollow. No matter what Kenny said, his mind can only follow everything up with,

‘But what about Joey? He was good too. Great even. That's why you couldn't bear to see him succeed. You know they liked him better’. Page was pulled from his thoughts when Cody suddenly spoke up,

“Ubers are here. Lets go” Cody had a fast yet tense tone. Not angry, just focused. Quickly they crept to the back exit, Cody leading, Matt insisting on taking up the rear. As they approached the exit, Cody peeked through the thin rectangular window on the door and sighed in relief, opening them to reveal 2 waiting vans sitting idle. Big Uber Black vans with tinted windows. Quickly they all scampered to the vans, only briefly fumbling with getting the bags in the trunk. 

\--------

There was a heavy sigh that came over the vans as they pulled away from the Cow Palace. For the briefest moment, they weren't afraid to let their guard down. 

Yujiro, Cody. Kenny, and Page were in one van, Marty, Chase, Matt, and Nick in the other.   
Marty scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned, the adrenaline slowly being replaced by exhaustion. Chase pulled his hair out of the sad lopsided ponytail it had been in and ran his fingers across his scalp, letting out a long achy sigh. Nick nodded in understanding and agreement. He blinked a couple times, before bringing a hand to his face, inhaling sharply. Matt shot Nick a concerned look, “What's up?”

Nick rubbed his eyes roughly, scrubbing his hands down his face.

“On the ramp, before they jumped us, I was starting to have a, one of those vision things...I think. My eyes rolled back but that was as far as it got. Ugh my eyes are killing me.”

Chase leaned closer to Marty and whispered, 

“What're they talkin about?”

Marty shrugged,

“Nick is saying he has vision problems. Probably from all the stage lights i'd guess. Sucks.”

Chase paused for a moment; he was sure that's not what Nick meant, but honestly he was far too tired and sore to argue over it.

Matt leaned towards Nick, using his phone for light,

“C’mere. Lemme look.”

Matt shined his phone on Nicks eyes as Nick looked left, right, Up and down. His eyes were tinged pink, with angry spiderwebs of dark red veins. Matt winced,

“Yeah….yeah they're pretty bad this time. Marty do you have any eye drops on you?”

Marty thought for a moment before rummaging around in his bag,

“Uhhhhhh yes! Here.”

Nick fiddled with the tiny bottle in the dimly lit van, dropping it once and nearly poking himself in the eye when they went over a speedbump. Finally he managed a couple shaky drops into his eyes. He blinked rapidly, trying to keep himself from immediately crying them out,

“Sweet GOD that hurts. Ugh.” The groan turned into a pleased one as the burning in his eyes slowly faded. He took a breath.

“Ok. So. We get in the hotel, we set up shop, and we figure everything out in the morning? While I don't recommend being there that long, we do have another 2 days in the room.”

Matt turned to look out the window, watching the dancing lights of passing buildings mixed with the dark landscape, resting his chin on one hand.

“Sounds good to me”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I hope y'all like how its going so far. These first couple chapters will be coming out quicker than normal, but I have a lot of it written out on my phone or in my notebooks. Hope y'all enjoy!


	3. I didn't know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys settle In for the night. Some are hurting worse than others.

The rest of the drive passed in uncomfortable silence. When they finally got to their hotel, they all ambled out of the cars, booked it to the elevator, and didn't say a word until they were in the room and the door was shut, locked, and deadbolted.

There was a moment once the door finally locked. A heavy silence, heavier than the frantic, confused silence in the locker room. Or the tense, impatient silence of the drive to the hotel. This was the silence of a group of people who'd suddenly ran out of distractions. Now, to their dawning horror, they had to continue with their night. 

They quietly dropped their bags in the corner of the hotel room beside the large, lumpy armchair. And, also quietly, they slowly ate their dinner, nobody really ready to talk too much. Just a room full of hurt, grimy wrestlers who dont know what to do next. Over the next 15-20 minutes, the silence of the room was replaced with crinkling and rustling as they threw away the wrapping and came back to the living room.

 

Yujiro finished his food and lobbed the wadded up paper bag at the trash. He missed. He ignored it and immediately plopped heavily into the misshapen armchair and started to curl up in a ball. Chase was grabbing a brush from his bag when he looked up at him in confusion.

“What're you doin man?”

Yujiro responded, eyes still closed

“Fucking sleeping. What does it look like?”

Chase huffed and stood, tapping Yujiros arm,

“No. You're not sleeping in a chair like that. Go brush your teeth, or wash your face. Something. You can't just go to bed gross.”

“Fine”

Chase was ready to argue back before he realized what Yujiro said. Chase stared, confused, as Yujiro grabbed his toothbrush and wandered to the bathroom.

Kenny shook his head sadly, “Jesus”. He sighed and turned in the room's office chair to face the group.

“Alright, well I guess let's figure out where we're all sleeping, ya? I can take the floor, that's chill with me. How is everyone, pain wise?”

Kenny looked to each person one at a time, starting with Marty,

“I'm fine, a little sore, but mostly just...sad”

Kenny nodded and turned to Chase,

“Neck is bugging me a bit, nothing awful. My back is going to be angry tomorrow. Yujiro, hes got a neck thing going on too. Neck and shoulder. And I guaran-goddamn-tee that he'll say hes fine, but even his ‘whatever’ shrug he'll do is no good for him right now. Let alone sleeping in a chair.”

Kenny nodded in agreement, “Absolutely. He can take one of the bed spots. Cody?”

“I'll be limping for a bit, but I'm alright.”

Kenny doubted that last bit, but moved on,

“Page?”

Page fiddled with his sleeves and was looking down at his hands. He muttered quietly,

“I'm fine.”

Kenny frowned,

“You sure buddy? You had a rough night.”

He nodded, not looking up from his sleeves.

Kenny glanced to Cody, who met his concerned gaze, but they moved on.

“Matt? Hows the back doing? 

Matt shook his head, stretching a bit, as if to test the waters.

“Not great. Its always on the verge of locking up, and this did it no favors.”

Kenny shook his head,

“Thats what I thought. You take a bed spot too just to be sure ok? And Nick, how ‘bout you? Your eyes are lookin pretty rough. Everything alright on the drive down?”

Nick scratched the back of his head awkwardly,

“No that was uh, that was out on the ramp. Right before they uh..”

Kenny interrupted, concerned surprise evident, eyebrows raised.

“Really?....ok. God, theyve been, uh, happening a lot lately haven't they?”

Chase looked over at Marty and raised his eyebrows, nodding towards Kenny and the bucks. Marty thought for a moment, then whispered to Chase,

“Slipped contact lenses. He just needs new ones is all. Because they keep slipping more often!” 

Chase doubted that guess even more than the last one. He made a face, but turned back towards Kenny, who was still talking,

“-ust to be sure, how about you take a bed spot tonight just so if anything happens youre not hurting yourself, ok?”

Nick looked away but still nodded solemnly. He hated that these visions are making things harder for everyone. Nick doesnt drive to shows anymore, he doesnt do any awkward or heavy lifting for long periods of time, ‘just to be sure’. He doesnt know when theyre going to happen. The only warning he has is the numbing of his hands. Even that isnt always right. As it was, Nick nearly had a panic attack on their last flight from Japan when his legs fell asleep on the plane. But then again. What if he had one while driving? He cant risk it. Matt says he doesnt mind driving, but Nick doubts it. With how much they drive? Theres no way.

Nick sat down on the couch and started going through his things, grabbing a towel and his toothbrush. He huffed an irritated breath and got up from his spot, feeling Matt and Kenny watching him. “I'm gonna shower.”

Kenny spoke softly, feeling the tension in Nicks voice.

“Yeah man, go for it. We’ll be figuring shit out out here.”

“Yup” was Nicks reply as he passed a half asleep Yujiro, toothbrush tucked behind his ear, wandering back towards the chair. Chase noticed his path and intervened, gently herding him towards one of 2 queen size beds in the room.

“Nope nope, youre taking a bed. Come on”

Chase got Yujiro into the wall side of the bed, pulling the blankets over the already blissfully unconscious man. Chase was about to walk away when he grimaced, plucking Yujiro’s toothbrush off of his ear with the tips of his fingers and set it down on one of the beverage napkins from the coffee table before plopping back down into the lumpy chair Yujiro tried to claim.

Cody glanced to Page, who was staring at his bag, clearing zoning out hard.

“Hey Page? bud? Youre a big dude and I know I'm gonna trip on you when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Can you take a bed spot tonight?”

Chase knew what Cody was trying to do, and Chase could up the ante,

“Yeah, man. Also it’d be a big help to make sure Yujiro doesnt sleep walk at all. The guys a biter when you try to wake him and, with him at the wall, he’ll have to get passed you when trying to climb out of bed.”

Page smirked and his demeanor shifted. His eyes were wider, and he had that eager look again.

“Yeah sure, I can take a bed spot.”

Chase let out a breath and grinned,

“Thanks man, I really appreciate it.”

Behind Page, Cody looked impressed, holding a discreet thumbs up in Chase’s direction. Chase met his eyes in acknowledgment, but then seriously mouthed, ‘I wasnt lying. He. Bites.’

Marty had been ignoring most of the conversation, throwing a blanket and himself over to the couch and sprawling out obnoxiously.

“Dibs! Couch is mine. Bugger off. Goodnight.”

With that, Marty put in a set of earphones, pulled down a sleeping mask, and snuggled himself into the couch.

Kenny blinked, then glanced towards the beds, on one of which Page was settling in next to Yujiro. Page caught his glance and smiled nervously, curling up in the bed as carefully as he could as to not wake his bedmate. Kenny turned in his chair to Matt, who was still standing beside Chase in his arm chair, and Cody who was now sitting on the coffee table so they could be close enough to whisper. Kenny lowered his voice and continued,

“Cody, I know you don't want to, but I think a bed is what's going to help the most for you right now. With Nick in one spot, that leaves the final spot between you and Matt. Sorry Chase, I just-- they--”

Chase looked surprised at the apology,

“No! no I agree. I'll be ok dude. I'll just steal Yujiro’s idea and take this lumpy thing.

Kenny gave Chase an appreciative pat on the shoulder, but left his hand there.

“Listen, I wanted to mention something earlier, but it felt awkward….well more awkward. Anyway, I'm sorry. About what happened tonight. They, I know how close you were with them. But I guess they...didn't?….Know? Fuck that's a terrible way to say that. Ugh. Look. I just want you to know, you didn't do anything wrong. Like...You didn't do anything to make them want to turn on you, You know that right?”

Chase’s eyes looked waterier than they had been most of the night, but he nodded.

“I….I know. But-- and it's not like I would've turned on you guys, but I thought me and them-...I just thought everything was cool…”

Cody reached out and put a hand on Chase’s knee, but stayed quiet. Matt looked intently at Chase and spoke quietly, leaning down to catch his eye,

“They didn't deserve you. Hell, for a long time we haven't either. You are nicer than anyone of us could ever be. That's how I know this hurts. Because you can't imagine doing this to anyone. We may run around as some obnoxious shits, but at the end of it all, Chase I'll be real with you. You're too much of a sweetheart to ever really hurt anyone. And any one of us are fucking lucky to call you family.”

Chase bit his lip and sniffled, letting a couple stray tears slip free and roll down his cheek. He chuckled sadly, his face twisting up in a pained grimace,

“I looked like an idiot out there. Leaving my back turned like that. Yujiro too. I was so confused and focused on what was going down, I didnt even consider what they were gonna do until I heard Yujiro gasp and get yanked from my side. Its--its a scary fucking thing to hear. I was close with all of them obviously, but Yujiro and I? Like, you guys know? We’re close, I worry about him, but we all knew we were safe with each other. Fuckin...now I dont know what. I just--I dont know. I'm jus’ so fuckin tired, man.”

Chase wasnt doing anything to stop the tears from coming, absentmindedly sniffling and itching his cheek when a stray tear clung to his stubble.

Matt felt such an intense pang of protective guilt. Self loathing and regret flashed through his mind. ‘Chase has been in the bullet club for so long, but whens the last time any of them did anything with Chase? Or Yujiro for that matter? The tongans up to now, at least they showed some interest? Some sincerity? Couldnt be too much sincerity, clearly’, Matt guessed. ‘But still, its been years, and we doesnt know Damn near anything about either of them. But that time is done. Now we have time.’

Cody still held an angry, remorseful look, but gently rubbed Chases knee with his thumb. He had nothing he could say that would help. It would be too hollow coming from him. So he stayed silent. Just being present as support. 

Kenny nodded slightly and gently pulled Chase in, rolling the chair towards him until he could pull him into a tight hug, being mindful of his neck.

“I'm so sorry, Chase. You're a good person, and don't let some backstabbing fucks make you think any different, you hear me?”

Chase nodded and sniffed, timidly returning the hug.

“Thanks guys. It's just been a lot. All of this, and with the G1 around the corner. Its just gotten to me I guess.”

Kenny pulled back and looked at him with a sincere nod, “Understandably so. Let's just go to bed, and we can figure all this out after some sleep. Does that sound alright?”

Chase took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Yup. Yup. That'll be fine. Imma figure this chair out, but if it gets bad I'll come to the floor.”

Cody shrugged and turned to Matt.   
“I'll take the floor. I'm not that tired, so the bed would probably be a waste for me anyway.”

Matt looked doubtful, but sighed and held his hands up in defeat. 

“Fine. I'm not gonna be able to talk you out of it, so fine. Lemme just go check on Nick.”

As Cody and Kenny started making up their sleeping spots for the night, Matt padded over to the bathroom door. The shower was off, but he could hear Nick rustling in the drawers.

“Psst. Nick?”

The rustling stopped,

“Nick I'm heading to bed, but your spot is the left side, left bed, closest to the bathroom. Ok? Try not to trip on Kenny, I think he may be setting up shop by the front door.”

“...ok.”

Matt was starting to walk back to the bed when the bathroom door cracked open. Matt saw Nick’s tangly wet hair peek out the door as he waved Matt back over. As soon as Nick started to talk, he was going a mile a minute, clearly having stressed about this for a while.

“Look I didnt know it was going to happen. Everything with Tama and Leo? I didn't see it. I couldn't look behind me and--and I just knew something bad was happening, and I heard the crowd freaking out. I didnt know it was all of this. And you know if I knew I would've said something but I didn't. And, And....I'm sorry.”

Matt shook his head, confused,

“Why are you sorry dude? None of us saw this coming. If we thought anything was up, your “something bads gonna happen” wouldve tipped us off. But we had no idea what they has going on. We can't apologize for not knowing something, unless it's something simple...yknow, like how to cut tassels into shirts.”

Nick looked appalled, whispering loudly, “Hey I said I didn't know how and YOU said you didn't care. And. I. Quote. ‘it's impossible to fuck up our own shirts. We'll just say that was the whole point!’ and besides, that was years ago!” Matt nodded and waved him down. “

Ok ok I get it. But you get what I mean right? I know that if you see something fucked up that we should know, you'll tell one of us. Ok?”

Nick nodded, the wet hair in his face making him look even more exhausted

“Yea. Alright, I'll uh, I'll be in soon. Goodnight dude”

“Night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy another real quick post. I am writing and editing a lot, but the next one will probably take a few more days to get it refined. Hope y'all enjoy it!


	4. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup, it's a Hangman chapter. He's struggling and trying to make amends. This one is a tad darker, but it's nothing extreme.

Page was in darkness, illuminated by a streetlight outside the window. His hands were spattered with blood. He can feel it on his face, his arms, and weighing down a lock of hair that hung limply in his face. All he could hear was ringing, but it wasn't a high pitched ring, something was off about it. 

Page was still standing in Matt and Nicks hotel room, but it was empty, save for a figure laying in the bed. Who was it? As Page took a step forward, he heard a comforting clicking sound. A familiar one he hadn't heard in weeks. It was the clicking of his favorite boots on the hardwood. Page stopped and looked down at them, the red stain on the toe end the boot was no longer a stain, but now back to being a collection of spattered droplets, teasing to drip down the embroidered leather. He looked back up and took another step towards the bed, knowing Joeys bloody face would be there. Just like it has been every night. Page finally reached the edge of the bed, looking pointedly away from the figures face, delaying the inevitable. Finally, Page took a breath, and looked down. It was the only way he ever got out of these dreams. Facing his reality. Every night.

When Page looked down this time, however, the game had changed. Joey wasn't there. Page was instead looking into the pale, terrified, lifeless face of Cody. The brown roots of his hair shone a bright wet red, with a sickening gash peeking from his hair line, rimmed with yellowing purple bruising. His eyes were vacant, staring at Page, unseeing. Pages eyes widened, his breath started coming in hard pants. He tore his gaze away from Cody, hyperventilating, and then the room started to spin. 

“No. no. nonoWhat did--I didn't. What--no. No, I wouldn't-’

That ringing was getting louder, what was it? What was it? It won't stop? Page looked down into his hand. Held in a shaking, bloody fist was the shattered phone receiver. The hotel phone. From a pointed edge of broken plastic hung a small tuft of blonde hair, matted down with dark thickened blood. The ringing got louder. 

It was the phones dial tone.

Pages world was spinning, and suddenly he was seeing Kenny, Matt, Nick, Yujiro, Chase, Marty, all laying dead by his hand. The ringing got louder. It overlapped. Dozens of droning phones making it too loud to think, too loud to breathe, he squeezed his eyes shut. He covered his ears and started to whisper,

“Imsorryimsorryimsorry”

The ringing closed in, louder, Page felt his lungs burning from the need for air. 

The louder the ringing got, the louder Pages apologies became, until he was breathlessly shrieking into the deafening whirlwind that surrounded him.

After a moment of white hot agony, he gasped, eyes shooting open. He was in the room. Everyone was asleep, and everything was back to the way it was. Page took a moment to catch his breath, blinking away hot tears that clung to his lashes. He moved his right hand to prop himself upright, and finally felt that he was holding something.

The rooms phone receiver was in his hand, the dial tone ringing lazily.

Page practically slammed the phone receiver down on the nightstand. Recoiling immediately and waiting to see if he woke anyone. A long, aggressively silent moment later he was out of bed, pacing. Page eyed the phone with a burning disgust tinged with fear.

“This cant be here.”

Page frantically unplugged the lines to the phone and yanked it from where it sat on the nightstand. He ignored his mind furiously telling him to attack, to arm himself, and he beelined to the kitchen. Without a second thought, Page dumped the phone base, the wires, and the receiver into the garbage. He returned to bed and crawled back in, still trying to be delicate so he wouldn't wake Yujiro. 

He stared at his hands for a minute, feeling the tickling in the back of his mind. That small whisper telling him to dig the phone from the trash. Telling him that he was in danger. Telling him, day in day out, to protect himself from those around him. That they're all threats. That they want to hurt him. Triggering a fight or flight response in him so often, and so forceful, that it's become a fight in itself to keep the violent moments in line. 

Moments like now.

“You may as well find someone else, because it's not gonna happen like that. Ain't no way.”

Page looked past his gently quivering hands towards the floor of the living room, where Cody was still curled up next the couch, sleeping soundly. He felt some of the tension dissipate and shook his head, resolute. 

“No goddamn way.”

Page pulled the blankets up over his head, curling close into himself and willing himself to sleep.

After what felt like, and could possibly have been, hours, a fitful sleep finally came back to him.

\-----

The next morning was slow. The room slowly groaned to life, and bit by bit, the morning routines began. Kenny started making calls to Kota, Marty took a shower (and has been singing the entire time), Matt and Nick started delicately stretching out, a morning habit that had spared them agony before long road trips, Cody put on the news, Chase started coffee, and Page started making everyone breakfast. Yujiro was still asleep, sprawled out over most of the bed, lightly snoring. Nobody was fully awake yet, but the simple comforts of everyone's morning routine helped ease the tension that lingered from the night before.

Page had a full array laid out before him from the front desk shoppette. Bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, eggs, bacon, cheese, he was ready to mass produce as many omelettes as he possibly could. A home cooked meal was always a treat, but for Page, it was something he's looked forward to doing ever since he joined bullet club. Cooking breakfast for his family. Something Page has always seen as a sign of success. A moment where he will know he found something good. And despite the current circumstances, Page was determined to make sure its perfect. 

He grabbed a bell pepper and reached for the knife when he paused. That tickle in the back of his mind sparking to life again. He could still feel the pull towards the discarded phone which still sat in the trash can, lingering on the edge of Pages peripherals, but he huffed a breath and carried on. He made his was through the bell pepper, the onion, and was just starting the mushrooms when it happened. The mushrooms were still wet, and when Page pushed the knife forward, his grip slipped and he managed to cut clear down the side of his knuckle And left pointer finger.

He pulled back from the cutting board, hissing in a sharp inhale through his teeth and gripping his hand tightly as blood bloomed to the surface.

Everyone in the room turned and looked to Page in alarm. Cody jumped up from the couch and started towards him, his protective nature taking over.

“What? What happened, let me see.”

Page wasn't listening. His eyes were Locked on his bloody hands. The sight of them now looked just like it was. In his dreams, in his reality, he couldn't escape what he'd done. He felt himself spiraling.

“Fuck, damn it!” 

Pages vision tunneled in on his now bloody hands, and his pulse throbbed in his ears. He looked up, adrenaline surging, to see Cody reaching towards him. Suddenly the itch in Pages mind became a relentless gnawing as he stumbled backwards with a panicked cry, scrambling blindly backwards until his back was against the counter and bringing his hands up to defend himself. Cody froze, a look of tense worry on his face. Page heard some of the other guys in the room call out in alarm, but he didnt know why. 

Chase flinched back, now nearly on top of the adjacent counter where the coffee maker sat. He was opened his mouth to say something, but paused. He thought back to what happened with Yujiro the night before, and started to frantically speak up,

“Wait! Page, Page its ok! Its alright, I know how that looked. But he’s not trying to hurt you, just put that thing down.”

Page could only barely begin to process what he was saying. Put what down? What's happening? That blur of blind violent rage was still pounding through his head, but it backed off slightly, slowly yet surely being replaced with guilt ridden terror.

Cody had his arms held up defensively. His hands were still but his voice wavering ever so slightly.

“Page...Adam, its ok. I just wanna look at the cut on your hand. Can you set the knife down so I can help you?”

Page blinked rapidly as he began to slowly come down. His vision opened back up from the distant tunnel vision to show what Cody meant. Page was still holding the kitchen knife in his outstretched, bloody hand. His other hand was trembling, held tightly in front of him, smearing deep red streaks across the grey Golds Gym tank he’d slept in. 

Page stared at the knife in his hand, slack jawed and horrified. Page took a couple steadying breaths before looking up at Cody. He thought of his dream, remembered Codys dead face, how it stared at him. 

It could've happened. It's all just a blackout away from happening. They arent safe around him. Page felt shame wash over him and the tears pinprick at his eyes. He tried to say something, but it just came out as a panicked sob. His mind started racing into overdrive.

‘I didn't want this.’

‘I didn't mean to.’

‘I was trying to be nice’

‘I would never-’

‘I don't want to hurt anyone’

‘I've never wanted that’

It was at that moment that Cody took a risk. He slowly reached towards Page, whose eyes widened in dread. He watched Pages eyes, the pupils were blown and flickering around the room. 

As Cody inched closer, Page squeezed his eyes shut, his hands shaking violently as he waited for the pain. Waited to be punished for not attacking when he had the chance, or for having the nerve to think he even could in the first place. He flinched when felt Cody’s hand touch his wrist, easing the knife free. Page hesitated, but finally his hands went lax, letting the knife slip from his grasp. Cody gripped the handle out of Pages hand and slid the knife out of arms reach, accidentally making it clatter as it skid across the linoleum.

Immediately Page curled in on himself on the kitchen floor, his eyes held shut, clearly still terrified and waiting to be struck.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry im sorry I'm sorry. I wont do it again. Oh my god I'm sorry, Cody please.”

Cody felt his heart shatter at the sight. Page was quivering, his hand still bleeding lazily onto his shirt. Cody hovered a hand over Page, turning back towards the group for a moment. Matt looked apprehensive, Chase had a devastated look of pity on his face, Kenny too. Cody looked back at Page and gently began to reach down to lay a hand on his shoulder, his tone sounding more confused and distraught as time went on,

“Adam, Adam its ok. Its ok. Nobody is going to hurt you here”

The moment his hand finally made contact, Page nearly wailed, recoiling and throwing his hands around his head, curling up tighter. Adam spoke between ragged breaths, voice broken and watery,

“I'm s-sorry ‘m sorry. Cody please Cody pleease. Please dont leave. Ill be better, dont leave me behind.”

Cody blinked rapidly, trying to will the angry tears away but failing quickly. He bit his lip.

Thats what he's afraid of?

“Adam look at me. I want you to see me when I say this ok?”

There was a long pause before Page started to pull his arms from his head and carefully looked up at Cody, struggling to make eye contact. His cheeks were ruddy, and his eyes wet and bloodshot. His nose was running and he had a small smear of blood on his cheek. 

Cody stared at him with a look of protective sympathy, and took a deep breath, unable to keep a stray tear from trailing down his cheek.   
“Adam. I, WE, will never leave you behind. Do you understand? You are my family and I am with you ok? Wherever we go is home, and we are a family. And we will not hurt you. We just want to make sure you are ok.”

Adam sniffled, his lip quivering and shoulders trembling. Slowly, Page held out his hand, tacky with a thin layer of clotting blood. Cody gently took hold of his hand, mindful not to grab the cut, and gestured for Matt. 

“Matt, stitches, yay or nay?”

Matt approached them gingerly, squinting closely at the wound.

“Nnnnooo shouldn't need it. We can clean it and wrap it up. If it looks jacked up later we can go from there. Hey Ken, my bag has a first aid kit, could you--?”

“On it.”

Kenny was already digging through Nicks suitcase, pulling out the small black kit and handing it off. Matt immediately started rifling through it and pulled out some supplies. Gauze, tape, rubbing alcohol, just the few things he needed to patch it up for now, and stave off any possible infections.

As Matt delicately started cleaning and dressing the cut, Page seemed distant and numb. He didn't say a word while Matt worked, only nodding or shaking his head when Matt asked him simple questions. 

‘Does this hurt?’ ‘Too tight?’ ‘Can you wiggle your fingers with it on?’

Page just sat in quiet compliance, sniffling periodically. Cody could still notice, however, the subtle twitches in his brow and his blown out eyes, as well as the still present thin sheen of sweat that held a wayward curl stuck to his forehead. 

The silence started to get tense. Page isn't well. Cody can tell. Page can be tense, but this is still far too extreme. Cody kept his voice soft,

“Adam, can you tell me what's on your mind right now?”

Page shook his head slowly

“Can you try? Just a word or two you can think of to describe what it is you're feeling?”

Page say quiet for some time, breathing deeply and evenly through his nose. Cody was sure he just ignored him and was about to ask again, when Pages soft, wavering voice spoke up in a croak,

“Scared.”

Cody perked up. This was good. Well, no it wasn't. But he managed to get something from him. Cody was about to speak, when Page continued, eyes downcast and voice still so small. There were long, tense pauses between each word. As though he was intensely analyzing everything he said, like there was no way to take it back once it was done. 

“Angry. Confused. Violent. Guilty. Scared. S-sorry. Sorry. Sorry….” 

He started to trail off, the word sorry seemingly stuck in his throat as he continued to force it out. His voice started to break as his face twisted back into that same look of terrified anguish.

Matt continued to wrap the mans trembling hand, a hard look on his face. Him and Nick had their thoughts and suspicions about Pages innocence in the Joey...murder? Disappearance? They never found a body, but still. Something was up, and while last night took a toll on everyone, whatever's happening now was not from that. Matt glanced over to Nick, who had a nervous look of dread on his face. He must be thinking the same thing.

Cody had put his hand down on Pages shoulder again, and tried to ignore how, despite his flinching and looking so afraid, the man still leaned heavily into his touch. He kept his voice soft,

“Afraid of what? Do you think one of us is going to hurt you?”

Page shook his head, biting his lip and still staring at the floor.

“Are you afraid of Tama and the BCOG?”

He shook his head again, and now Cody looked confused,

“...Can you tell me what it is you ARE afraid of?”

Page took in a shuddering breath and let it out as a whimper, his lower lip firmly between his teeth. He looked up at Cody with wet eyes,

“m’fraid of hurting one of you...”


	5. A call that never came

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all try to unwind from a rough morning, but Kenny still has someone he's been waiting for.

“I'm afraid of hurting one of you.”

If it wasn't silent in the room already, this did it. Cody raised an eyebrow, confused, while everyone behind him seemed to tense, glancing at one another. Chase itched his neck and looked away, while Kenny went rigid and looked down at his feet. 

Cody had spent so long dabbling in different personal projects, he never noticed just how far Page had fallen. This was sudden, and seemingly out of nowhere to Cody. But the rest of them, they'd been waiting for something like this.

Cody looked to Kenny, then to Chase, eyebrows furrowed. Why was this something they didn't look shocked about? Is this what they expected? What has he missed?

He scoffed, and tried to put on a wry smile,

“Cmon man, you wouldn't ever hurt us. You don't have to worry about that. You're just a little freaked out because of the rough year we've all had. Right?”

Page said nothing, but couldn't meet his gaze. Matt finished taping Pages hand and held it for a moment, before standing and leaning beside Chase at the counter. Matt was watching the floor, silent. Nobody in the room spoke, the sound of Yujiro’s barely audible snoring finally being noticed. Cody muttered that last word again, quieter, more unsure,

“...Right?”

Cody was at a loss. Clearly they're being dramatic, right? Page is fine. 

Fine.

That's a word he's used a lot. And lately, nothing has been fine. Kenny wasn't fine, The bullet club wasn't fine, and now…

But, no, this was Page, he's a tough dude. That's why Cody wanted him as a right hand man for so long, the guys a brawler.

But...

He thinks back to what happened in the locker room, at how ready Chase was to help Page through that episode. Was it really so common? Christ, what all has he missed?

The one relief was that Cody had a chance now. A chance to not sweep it under the rug and pretend, like he had so many times already. He had pretended that everything was alright, tried to will it into existence. But he can't. It'll take time, and it'll be messy. But Cody wants to try, he needs to. Page has stood by when Cody was at his lowest, it's only fair he do the same.

But it would be more beneficial if this talk happens later. When they're more secure and less....vulnerable. Everyone is delicate right now, they still need some time.

Cody thought for a minute, looked back at the tv, then back to Page. He cleared his throat.

“Page, how about this; you go into the bathroom, clean up, then we can watch some tv and relax. I can help you if you'd like, but I think we all need some chill time, that sound ok?”

Page looked past Cody towards the breakfast prep on the counter longingly, wanting to protest. Cody noticed,

“One of us can do this, don't worry. You'll get breakfast.”

Page looked disappointed and shook his head, shrugging awkwardly,

“It was for all of you. I was trying t-- it was--I wanted to make a...”

He shrugged again and mumbled out the last words, almost embarrassed to hear them said aloud.

“A family....breakfast…”

Kenny smiled sadly, and got up from his spot in the living room, walking over towards Page and Cody, 

“It WILL be a family breakfast, the first of many. But how about you take Cody up on that offer earlier, huh? Clean up, and go relax. You bought everything, you had the idea and planned the menu, now its our turn. Everyone will do their part here.”

Page smiled timidly, still tense, but drastically better than he just was.

“Ok...Yeah, That sounds nice.” 

He moved to stand, and Cody and Matt were right there, easing him up and patting him off. Page paused, and gestured towards himself awkwardly, pinching the edge of the dingey bloodstained tank top,

“I need to, uh, maybe not wear this--”

Chase startled, looking surprised that it was even considered,

“Oh! Dude yeah, no that one's done. Hold up, if there's one thing we have, it's shirts. Lemme grab you something.”

Page gave a thumbs up, then dropped his hand and nodded stiffly. Now fully aware of himself and no longer spiraling, he was painfully uncomfortable with all the attention.

Matt stooped down and rifled through the kitchen drawers, a small “aha!” Coming from him as he pulls out a clean hand towel. He wet it under the kitchen sink and held it towards Page with a comforting smile,

“Marty is still in the shower, so this may be the easiest way. Wait, hold on I might have an extra-- here!”

Matt dug a hair tie from his pocket, About to hand it off when he paused,

“It's gonna be a pain in the ass for you to do with that hand taped. Ok, How about you crouch down and I'll put your hair up? It'll be easier to reach your neck.”

Page nodded and stooped down just enough for Matt to be able to work, standing on his toes to put Pages curly hair in a high ponytail.

“There.”

When Page had tried to hide himself earlier, he had wiped his bloody hand all over his head and neck. Page had blood smeared across his cheek, forehead and neck, as well as a spot or 2 on his chin, so cleaning it all off was a team effort. Kenny and Nick had taken over breakfast, tossing the discarded knife into the sink and rinsing it before grabbing a clean one. Cody delicately helped Page with the spots of drying blood he missed beneath his ear.

Chase was knelt beside his bag, sifting through when he remembered. That one inside out shirt he saw in the locker room should still be in here. Maybe that was Pages? Chases shirts didnt have any red in the designs that he noted when he packed his stuff. Which one was it? Chase pulled the shirt out and shook it out, immediately feeling his chest tighten and that lump in his throat return.

It was his Honorary Tongan shirt that that Fale gave him months ago. 

He must've spaced that it was even in here. God that feels like such a long time ago.

Chase glanced up, nobody had noticed what he was holding yet, and he crammed the shirt back in his bag for now. He'll deal with that later, when he can find somewhere else to toss it. He looked around his bag and found a spare Crown Jewel shirt in Pages size, wrinkled but clean. He stood stiffly, his neck seeming to ache worse than it did just moments ago. He walked back over to the group and handed Page the shirt, a tight smile on his face. Kenny looked at him with a thoughtful expression, but stayed silent.

Within minutes, Page was clean and sitting stiffly on the couch, watching everyone move about the room getting ready for breakfast. Page glanced over towards the entryway of the room to see Marty strolling out of the bathroom, skin pink and hair in a damp mess around his face. 

He plopped heavily next to Page on the couch, a content smile on his face. With his hair down, Page could see the greying roots. Marty likes to keep it dyed, but he doesn't want to fry it by doing it too often. So more often than not, his silver roots shine through when his hair’s down. Unfortunately, even though a lot of the heavy internal fighting with Kenny and the Bucks has calmed down, it looks like Marty's greys are here for good. It doesn't make him look old. Not really. But he’s still kinda sensitive about it. 

Marty nudged Page's shoulder with his, gesturing at the blank tv screen.

“So what're we watching?”

Page blinked at him, then handed him the remote.

“Uh, I wasn't sure yet.”

Marty turned on the tv and stared scrolling through the guide, making vaguely bored noises at most of the shows. It was nice how relaxed he was. Clearly Marty had no idea of what happened while he was in the shower. Page was fine with that. Marty paused his scrolling, a smirk audible in his voice,

“Ok ok, here we go. So, ‘Ice Road Truckers’ or ‘Ancient Aliens’?”

Page perked up at the screen,

“Truckers for sure. I haven't seen the new season yet.”

Marty turned to Page, his interest piqued.

“Oh, So you know the story! Ok. So who's who? Give me the full run down.”

Page started rattling off all the ins and outs of the show, meanwhile the rest of Bullet Club fill in around them, dished up plates of omelettes in hand. Nick hands a made plate to Page, then sat on the floor beside the coffee table. Cody sat beside Page, Kenny beside Nick. Chase poked Yujiro awake, then sat in front of the armchair so Yujiro could curl up in it. 

And there they sat, all eating breakfast and watching tv. And for the first time in what felt like months, things felt ok. They weren't in hiding, they weren't waiting to plan an escape; they were just a family sitting down for breakfast. Between the sound of the tv and the calm conversations around him, Page found himself slowly drifting off. The exhaustion of the morning coupled with his fitful sleep finally taking its toll. He let himself slowly lean against Cody until his head was set comfortingly on his shoulder before melting heavily against him, letting his heavy eyelids slowly droop closed.

Cody glanced down at Page, whose breathing had begun to even out. He smiled, waving to Yujiro, pointing to the blanket draped over the back of the armchair. Yujiro smirked and handed it over, and Cody, delicately trying to not wake him, bundled Page up with the small fleece throw.

As everyone slowly finished eating, Nick took a handful of dishes to the sink, slowly making work of them, while everyone sat in comfortable silence in front of the tv. After a moment, Kenny spoke up,

“Hey, I'm going to be meeting Kota out front and bringing him up soon, ok? So nobody freak out if I get a phone call and bolt.”

They all nodded, and Cody looked a little tense. Kenny noticed, his face softening,

“Listen. I know shits been fucked up for a long time now, bur Kota knows what happened. He...he may not be ready to accept you with open arms yet? But he will. it will just take time. He’s a very, uh, protective man.”

Cody looked down and took a hard breath, nodding,

“I know. I have a lot, Jesus, a LOT to make up for. But if I need to, you know, be somewhere else for a bit, or just give some space, then I ca--”

Kenny cut him off,

“No no. Don't you dare think I'm sending you out to the wolves. That is not going to happen. I'm just saying that he may come off a bit cold. He may be a little leery still. He's not going to send you out. He saw that you didn’t go with them when you had the opportunity. That alone changed his image of you. It's a matter of starting from here and moving forward.”

Cody smirked, but still looked at the floor.

“Moving forward into the unknown. Absolutely. But we won’t be alone. So that's something, right?”

Kenny nodded, as did the rest of the otherwise quiet Bullet Club.

15, 20 minutes pass, and the comfortable, sleepy silence is broken by a light knocking at the door.

Everyone glanced up, save for Page, and Kenny furrowed his brows, quickly checking his phone before starting towards the door,

“Oh god, Bu, come on.”

Kenny opened the door to Kota, who was grinning at him with a wide, crooked, perfect smile, a cardboard drink tray in hand,

“I got coffee!”

Kenny ushered him in and locked the door behind him. Kota nodded towards everyone in the living room, set the balanced coffee on the counter, and dropped his bag. Kenny turned to Kota, exasperated, and stepped close, close enough to whisper, concern laced in every word,

“I would have met you out front--Why--why didnt you call? They could have been anywhere.”

Kota took Kenny's hand and looked him over, shaking his head,

“They are looking for all of you before they look for me. I'm fine. You're the ones who are knowingly staying in the same hotel they are.”

Kota looked through his bangs to make eye contact with Kenny, a smirk still on his face. Kenny still looked shaken, but to those in the living room, it appeared as though a deep weight had finally been lifted. A weight that had dropped the night before. 

Kota sighed and reached out, placing a hand on the back of Kennys neck, and pulled him into a tight embrace. Kenny immediately brought his arms up to grip onto Kotas back, fists tightening in his cotton tshirt. Kota tangled his fingers into Kennys unkempt curls, turning his head just enough to press his lips to the mans temple. He held them there for the briefest of moments before delicately pulling away. He kept his hand firmly on the back of Kennys neck, but pulled back to look at him. Kenny was looking down at his own feet. Kota kept his voice soft,

“Its time to worry about you, ok? Let me do that, for you and your friends.”

Kenny looked up at Kota with that vulnerable look he gets. The look he doesnt like to show the rest of bullet club. When he's terrified, or lost. It was the look he got when they decided to go to room 710 after Sapporo. The look that only briefly came over him on the hallway during the G1, before he pushed Kota away.

He looked so tired.

Kota’s smirk faded, a small realization dawning,

“Kenny, did you sleep last night?”

Kenny tensed, then looked away,

Of course he didn't.

“Kenny you can't do this to yourself again.”

Kenny looked at the ceiling, pointedly avoiding Kotas gaze while mumbling pitifully,

“I just...I was watching the door in case anything happened…”

Kenny was so stubborn when he got protective. He’ll justify taking his own leg off if he thought it would help someone else. 

But Kota could play this game too.

Kota shrugged and itched his neck dramatically,

“Yeah me neither. I sat by my phone all night in case something happened.”

Kenny looked horrified, his gaze snapping up from the floor to look at Kota,

“You can't just sit up all night by the phone, everything was ok! We stayed together and I locked the door and--” Kenny paused and grimaced, looking back at Kota who had that cheeky grin plastered on his face again. He nodded expectantly,

“What was that? Please go on about why nobody should have stayed up.”

Kenny made a face and crossed his arms,

“I did sleep. For an hour or 2 at least. So there.”

Kota feigned surprise, an obnoxiously sarcastic apologetic tone not hidden,

“Oh, a true hibernation. You must be so refreshed, Mr Bear.”

Kenny smirked and looked away, trying to brush off the accidentally very endearing nickname.

“Ok. I get it. I'll work on that, ok? Now, can we go sit? I'm afraid of what Yujiro is going to tell them we're talking about.”

At that, Yujiro called out from his spot on the chair, not bothering to look away from the tv,

“I dont give a shit what you are talking about, just that you're talking too loud. I'm trying to watch this thing about fat hicks in the snow.”

Kota looked at Kenny, horribly confused.

“It's a show. Its about-- its-- just come sit down, it's really hard to explain this one.”

Kota and Kenny came back into the room and sat on the floor beside Nick at the coffee table. Nick smiled as they did, giving Kota a friendly pat on the back. Kenny sighed and turned back to the tv, only now realizing he had no idea what this show was even about. He'd been so concerned with checking for Kota’s call, he hadn't been paying any attention. He looked up at Marty behind him, who was watching the screen intently.

“So what did Page say this show was about?”

Marty didn't look away from the tv, but began rattling off the premise with the same joy Page had only an hour before.

Kenny smiled and turned back to the tv, feeling the warm hand of Kota envelope his and lacing their fingers together. After a moment, Kenny let out a breath he didn't know was there and leaned in, letting his head rest gently on Kotas shoulder.

Everyone in the room felt that last weight lift from them. Finally. They may not be out of the woods yet. But at least they're all together.


End file.
